Post by Bartman on Mar 19, 2009 17:54:07 GMT -5
OH MY GOD BURN THIS PILE OF TRASH.
I watched this godawful movie on YouTube. It pissed me off so much I can't even describe how much it pisses me off. It's so flawed it's not even funny.
-Mario and Luigi are played by a British Man and a Latino, respectively.
-The graphics in the game are far more superior to the shitty opening in the movie.
-Bowser is called "Koopa" in the film. He isn't even a fire-breathing turtle/dragon like in the games, no. He's a HUMAN.
-Princess Peach is nowhere to be found, although we have Princess Daisy instead.
-Dennis Hopper can't act for shit in this movie. In the film, he's like Clint Eastwood with all the awesome removed.
-The "Goombas" look nothing like their game counterparts and instead look like a poorly digitalized 3D Homer Simpson.
-The plot is paper thin. Honestly, the only time anything significant happens is whenever King Koopa is around, because in every scene he's either bitching about not having his pizza (yes, he actually tries to order a fucking pizza for no reason THREE TIMES in this movie), or talking about how he's so evil for having a gun which can turn people into monkies.
-Yoshi was just flat-out raped in this film. Unlike a cute, green, pleasant dinosaur like he is in the games, this Yoshi is an ugly, computerized creature which is still kind of adorable.
-There is no Mushroom Kingdom. Scratch that, it's set in Brooklynn.
-Only two of Koopa's kids are seen, and even then, Koopa and Spike are cousins.
-The roles for the heroes are reversed. Mario is a chickenshit and Luigi is the heroic one.
-If you play the lines "Bob-Omb!" and "Monkey!" back to back, you can clearly see Dennis Hopper's career implode on itself.
This movie is shit. It's the lowest form of shit. It makes Batman & Robin look like a cinematic masterpiece. I'm amazed Shigeru Miyamoto actually liked it (I'm not shitting you. He actually enjoyed the movie.)
My childhood was raped today, and all it took was this film.
I watched this godawful movie on YouTube. It pissed me off so much I can't even describe how much it pisses me off. It's so flawed it's not even funny.
-Mario and Luigi are played by a British Man and a Latino, respectively.
-The graphics in the game are far more superior to the shitty opening in the movie.
-Bowser is called "Koopa" in the film. He isn't even a fire-breathing turtle/dragon like in the games, no. He's a HUMAN.
-Princess Peach is nowhere to be found, although we have Princess Daisy instead.
-Dennis Hopper can't act for shit in this movie. In the film, he's like Clint Eastwood with all the awesome removed.
-The "Goombas" look nothing like their game counterparts and instead look like a poorly digitalized 3D Homer Simpson.
-The plot is paper thin. Honestly, the only time anything significant happens is whenever King Koopa is around, because in every scene he's either bitching about not having his pizza (yes, he actually tries to order a fucking pizza for no reason THREE TIMES in this movie), or talking about how he's so evil for having a gun which can turn people into monkies.
-Yoshi was just flat-out raped in this film. Unlike a cute, green, pleasant dinosaur like he is in the games, this Yoshi is an ugly, computerized creature which is still kind of adorable.
-
-Only two of Koopa's kids are seen, and even then, Koopa and Spike are cousins.
-The roles for the heroes are reversed. Mario is a chickenshit and Luigi is the heroic one.
-If you play the lines "Bob-Omb!" and "Monkey!" back to back, you can clearly see Dennis Hopper's career implode on itself.
This movie is shit. It's the lowest form of shit. It makes Batman & Robin look like a cinematic masterpiece. I'm amazed Shigeru Miyamoto actually liked it (I'm not shitting you. He actually enjoyed the movie.)
My childhood was raped today, and all it took was this film.